About a year ago, John and Sarah Thompson moved in next door. At first, they seemed quite pleasant. They were a couple in their early 40s, childless, and had two large dogs named Max and Daisy. We exchanged friendly greetings, and I welcomed them with a batch of my famous chocolate chip cookies. Over the next few months, we had a few friendly exchanges, borrowed a cup of sugar here and there—just your typical neighborhood fare. However, what started as a seemingly normal neighborly relationship began to deteriorate.
Soon after their arrival, their dogs became a major concern. While I’ve always adored animals, Max and Daisy’s behavior was becoming increasingly bothersome. They had a peculiar habit of relieving themselves right at the edge of their yard. What was worse, the Thompsons appeared to have devised a scheme: they would gather up the dog mess, wait until they thought no one was watching, and then—get this—throw it straight over the fence into my garden. Initially, it was a rare occurrence, but it quickly escalated. Before long, I was coming home to find dog poop in my flower beds almost every day.
I initially tried to be forgiving. Surely, this had to be an accident. Who would deliberately toss dog waste over a fence? I decided to address the issue directly and hoped a friendly conversation would resolve it. One day, as John and I were both outside, I took the opportunity to bring it up. With an attempt to keep things light, I said, “Hey, John. I’ve noticed some dog poop in my garden lately. It might be from Max or Daisy. Is there any chance you could keep an eye on them while they’re outside?”
John turned to face me, a tight-lipped smile stretching across his face. “Well, it’s definitely not them,” he said with a faint smirk that suggested he was mocking me. “Maybe it’s your kids.” I was taken aback. My children? Really? Although I felt a surge of frustration, John’s demeanor made it clear he wasn’t being entirely honest. Deciding to avoid a heated confrontation, I chose to let it go for the moment. But deep down, I knew I couldn’t ignore this issue. If I didn’t take action, the problem would persist, and confronting them hadn’t worked. It was time for a more imaginative approach—something subtle yet impactful.
My thoughts began to churn as I formulated a plan. I had always been known for my baking skills, particularly my chocolate chip cookies, which were somewhat of a local legend. I thought it was time to live up to the hype, but with a slight twist. I planned to give the Thompsons a taste of their own medicine. The idea began to feel more and more satisfying as I considered it.
The following day, I gathered my ingredients: chocolate chips, flour, sugar, and a little extra. Though I’m not proud of what I did next, desperate times call for desperate measures. I walked outside to my garden, collected some of the offending material, sealed it in a bag, and put on some gloves. Now, let me clarify before you jump to conclusions: I was not going to bake with real dog poop. Instead, I needed something that would convey the message without being too unsanitary. I went to the pet supply store and found a package of the most odorous dog treats I could find. These tiny brown nuggets looked deceptively like chocolate chips but had a foul smell that was perfect for my purpose. I mixed them with actual chocolate chips, baked a new batch of cookies, and let them cool.
The smell that filled my kitchen was a disturbing blend of chocolate and the stench of dog treats. It was unpleasant, but it was exactly what I needed. Once the cookies had cooled, I placed them in a shiny tin and added a handwritten note: “To the best neighbors, enjoy these fresh-baked cookies! – The Wilsons.”
I chuckled to myself, imagining their reaction, but I knew timing was crucial. The next day, while Mrs. Thompson was out, I seized the opportunity to sneak the cookie tin onto their porch. I then retreated to my house and watched from the window to see what would unfold.
It didn’t take long for the situation to escalate. That evening, as I was tending my garden, I heard an uproar coming from the Thompson home. Their dogs barked loudly, and I distinctly heard Mr. Thompson yelling, “What the hell is wrong with these cookies?!” over the commotion. A smile spread across my face. This exceeded my expectations. I had anticipated they would notice something was amiss, but I hadn’t expected such an immediate reaction.
Later that week, I overheard the Thompsons arguing in their backyard while I was watering my flowers. Despite their efforts to speak quietly, their conversation was audible. “Those Wilsons gave us some kind of sick prank cookies!” Mrs. Thompson fumed, her voice a mix of embarrassment and anger. Mr. Thompson responded, sounding both guilty and frustrated, “They must’ve known about the poop. What are we going to do?” Mrs. Thompson insisted, “Just keep quiet. We don’t want the whole neighborhood knowing we’ve been throwing dog crap over the fence.” I nearly dropped my watering can. It was the confirmation I had been waiting for. They knew their guilt, and now they knew I was aware of it.
Remarkably, a few days later, the dog excrement in my yard disappeared. It was as if a miracle had occurred. I was thrilled that my little act of retaliation had succeeded. But the story didn’t end there. A few weeks later, the Thompsons showed up at the neighborhood BBQ. They seemed reserved and avoided making eye contact with me. I wasn’t going to let them off so easily.
“John, hello! Sarah!” I called out cheerfully, waving a tray of fresh cookies. “I have more cookies for the celebration. Would you like to try one?” Their faces turned pale as they saw the cookies. They muttered something about being full, made a hasty excuse, and almost ran off. As I watched them leave, I couldn’t help but laugh. The other neighbors, unaware of the inside joke, happily devoured the cookies.
As the evening progressed, I overheard a few neighbors discussing the Thompsons. One remarked, “Have you noticed how quiet their dogs have been lately?” Another added, “Yeah, and their yard’s been spotless.” It seemed that my small act of inventive retaliation had not only resolved my issue but also transformed the Thompsons’ behavior. Thanks to a bit of boldness and creativity, they had become the model neighbors of the neighborhood.